Self-Imposed Difficulty

I’ve been happy and at peace lately, but my mind often tries to find a reason to worry or to be sad. I’m not sure whether it’s due to me trying to relate to my parents somehow or some other residual wounds I am not aware of. I guess I need to keep telling myself is that blessings/accomplishments don’t need to come with hardships. My parents sacrificed so I wouldn’t have to, so why am I looking for reasons to suffer or be sad? Lord you will give me enough hardships in my life so please don’t allow me to place self-imposed ones.

Also unsure why but these verses has just been on my mind a lot from the gospel of Luke.

10“Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much. 11So if you have not been trustworthy in handling worldly wealth, who will trust you with true riches?

~Luke 16:10-11

When I think of these verses of course my mind goes towards my finances and personal assets, but also the riches of the Lord’s love that he gives to me. I covet it. I want to isolate and just spend time with you Lord and just keep filling my own cup indefinitely. What a selfish thing to do. You call me to pour into others when my nature wants to isolate from those around me. Whether I separate emotionally, physically or spiritually, I am supposed to be a vessel on which your love flows through so it can cover all of your creation.